How to Shift Your Identity: Break Limiting Beliefs & Become Your Future Self

Hero and Mindset Coach Katie Wee joins Chandler to discuss identity shifts and why lasting change often begins with how we view ourselves. Katie reflects on embracing her newfound identity as a mother and how redefining your identity can unlock new ways of living, leading, and healing.

Together, they explore how personal growth can feel destabilizing before it feels empowering and how shifting internal narratives can create tangible changes in relationships, work, and self-worth.

What You Will Learn

• [00:08:30] Why mindset work begins with awareness of thought patterns rather than trying to “fix” circumstances
• [00:12:30] How pregnancy and motherhood prompted a deeper examination of self-worth beyond productivity
• [00:15:00] The connection between survival-mode living, overachievement, and nervous system dysregulation
• [00:18:00] Why identity must shift before desired outcomes—like relationships, careers, or healing—can arrive
• [00:23:30] How to uncover limiting beliefs by examining fears around why desired changes haven’t happened yet
• [00:26:00] The role habitual behaviors play in reinforcing old identities, especially in professional settings
• [00:31:30] Why major identity transitions can feel uncomfortable as the nervous system adjusts to unfamiliar emotions
• [00:37:00] How choosing responses aligned with a future self gradually stabilizes a new identity

Resources Mentioned

• Byron Katie – Author and Speaker
  
  
• Happy Camp with Katie Wee – Registration opens soon! Join the waitlist today.

Let’s Connect!

Katie Wee

Website | Instagram

Chandler Stroud

Website | Instagram | LinkedIn 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

Transcript

Chandler Stroud: [00:00:00] Hey guys, it's Chandler and welcome to The Healing Heroes. I promise you.

I'm Chandler Stroud, an executive wife and busy mom of two who after years of living with anxiety. Health struggles and an unshakeable feeling like I should be happier, made a profound discovery that changed everything. Join me on a journey where unexpected paths lead to [00:00:30] healing and more happiness. On this show, we will explore unconventional ways to unlock more joy in your own life with the help of my very own healers.

And trusted advisors, the healing heroes.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Healing Heroes podcast. I'm your host Chandler, and I'm so glad that you joined us today. We are back with hero and mindset coach Katie [00:01:00] Wee, who is freshly off her four month maternity leave, and I cannot wait to catch up with her and hear how she's doing after this special time at home and away with her daughter l.

For today's discussion, we're gonna be talking about the power of identity shifts and how changing the way we see ourselves might be the unlock you need to find healing and more joy in the everyday. One of the most important lessons I've [00:01:30] learned from Katie along the way is that healing often is not about doing more, it's about seeing ourselves differently.

The way we identify, interpret, and narrate our lives has such a profound impact on how we feel and how we are able to heal. Before we dive into this topic with Katie, I'd love to introduce hero. Katie. We. Any new [00:02:00] listeners joining us today for the first time? Katie is a mindset coach, speaker, writer, actress, survivor, and the founder of Happy Camp.

You may have seen Katie on TV shows such as Modern Family, Hawaii, five Oh New Girl or General Hospital, or have read her writing in Newsweek or the Huffington Post. At Happy Camp, she teaches others how to love themselves on the deepest level and to use manifestation to create what they want in their [00:02:30] lives all while Blissing out in Paradise.

I have been, it's amazing. I can't recommend this program and retreat highly enough, and she's got another one coming up, guys, so join her website and stay tuned for more on that. Katie, welcome back. I'm so excited to have you here with us today. How does it feel to be back in this seat? 

Katie Wee: Oh, it feels so good.

It's so good to be back with you. I. I really value, I'm sure all mothers out [00:03:00] there can relate my time. That's just for me now, like when it's just me. So maybe like an hour a day cumulative and usually not all at once, but you're like, there's no one in my hands. Like I have no responsibility and I'm like either getting in the bath or I'm journaling or I'm working out.

But to get to be here with you and to share. And to, you know, every time I share I feel like I'm processing too. I'm learning, I'm being able to, I'm able to understand what's really going on with me on a deeper level as [00:03:30] well. And to share with any other woman out there who relates to where I'm at or remembers this phase.

And to, to be able to talk about identity shifts, because my gosh, I've been going through a big one. And like you said in your intro, identity is everything. How we view ourselves creates our future. And that's what I've learned so much with manifestation, that it's not about like the checklist, it's not about doing all the things, quote unquote, right?

It's about how you see yourself, what you see in yourself, and what you see in yourself becomes [00:04:00] manifest. So as I, as I change rules for from Maiden to Mother and I am noticing so much coming up and I've been loving the journey and my, my brain just feels like so alive. 'cause I'm, I'm noticing all the changes within myself, which is always very exciting for me.

Chandler Stroud: Oh, that's so great, Katie, and honestly is a testament to your healing too, because I can tell you that was a very tough time in my own motherhood journey, and I just remember feeling [00:04:30] so overwhelmed and distraught about it. I didn't have the kind of self-awareness that you have taught me to cultivate throughout the work that we've done together that I think it's really cool that you can see what's coming up and be aware of how you're feeling and change those.

Stories as they arise, which I know we're gonna get into, but I think it's really special that you have been able to do so much healing in your life prior to L'S arrival. 

Katie Wee: Thank you. And I really believe in divine timing. [00:05:00] I have said on this podcast many times before, unlike a recovering control freak, recovering type a achiever, have always enjoyed trying to kind of like create my life really specifically.

And what I've learned about. The journey is that things happen when you're ready. And that doesn't mean like, okay, now that I've built the perfect home or become the perfect version of myself, I have a daughter. It means that there's lessons you needed to learn, to be ready for the lessons you're going to [00:05:30] learn, and that life, life is a constant moving through lessons.

And we're never done. There's no no graduation. We'll be learning lessons until the day we die. And it's like a school thinking of earth like a school. There were a lot of lessons I realize now that I needed to learn before becoming a mother that are helping me in motherhood. And had I had kids on my original timeline, like when I was younger, if you would've asked me when I was 22 what I wanted, I would've told you I wanna be married with two kids by the time I'm 30.[00:06:00] 

But in my life, I was getting divorced when I was 30, had no kids, and then felt very behind, like rushing to try to get remarried to try to find the perfect person that didn't work out so well. Finally surrendered, let go. Learned about manifestation. Learned how to change my identity and my vibe and my energy and my mindset rather than try to control the factors in my life.

And when I did that, when I really poured into myself and focused on myself, then I met my soulmate, my husband, [00:06:30] then I created my business, then we got married, then. We had L and that beautiful unfolding wouldn't have happened unless I'd been willing to sort of surrender a little bit to say, okay, maybe I don't know all the right next steps.

The universe will educate me and give me those next steps. And some of those lessons I learned, gosh, especially between divorce and motherhood the last five years. I'm so grateful that I learned them without a little one here. Learned them on my own time so that I can [00:07:00] really be more fully present with her.

And I'm grateful that things didn't work out perfectly on my 22-year-old timeline 'cause she didn't know that much. 

Chandler Stroud: I mean, I feel that deeply. My 22-year-old self did not know that much either. But you know, like you said, it happens the way it's supposed to happen. 

Katie Wee: Yeah, exactly. I trust in that divine timing now so much more.

I feel like I'm relaxing into life and kind of going like, okay, whatever you got in store for me, universe, God, I'm ready for it. I really appreciate [00:07:30] everything you've given me already. I'm not gonna freak out if there's redirections. I'm just gonna roll with it as much as I can and let that. Control freak part of me be like, Hmm, can we just relax a little bit and let the more vibey, flowy, trusting part of myself, take the lead and really be the mother here?

Chandler Stroud: Well, the gratitude and trust is emanating from you right now, and I love seeing that and I'm just. I'm so excited for what you've had the opportunity to do in terms of [00:08:00] quality time with EL and then like what's in store in the future. I mean, this is just the beginning and it's just really exciting to think about.

You did talk about mindset in your answer, of course, since you were a mindset coach. But for our new listeners who are joining us today, and I know I've asked you this question a hundred times before, can you just briefly explain what you do, what mindset coaching is, and why women seek your help when they're often at a crossroads?

Katie Wee: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Every time I [00:08:30] describe what mindset coaching is, I like to change it a little bit because it's so broad and just kind of. Going with what feels most alive for me right now, mindset coaching is becoming aware of the way that you think and learning to utilize the way that you think for your own highest benefit.

Most of us are not taught how to think, we're just sort of like thrust out into the world, and we each have our own sort of way of processing and creating reality because we have our own past. But if you're not aware of the way that you think your past programming, the belief systems that you've [00:09:00] been raised with, that you've internalized from other people, from society, those belief systems will sort of.

Create the life in front of you, they'll create your future. And that makes you not an active participant in the creation of your future, the way that you wanna be. It makes you sort of like operating on autopilot. And if there's anything I don't like, it's autopilot. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I wanna be in the driver's seat.

I wanna consciously create this life. I want it to be full of the things I want, the people I want, the energy I want. And mindset coaching [00:09:30] gives you the reins to your future. It gives you the opportunity to think consciously in a certain. Way to create certain outcomes so that your creation is no longer just a memory of the past.

You're no longer just recycling your old programming into the future, but you're instead choosing the life you wanna create and thinking in a way that will help you create that. Because our thoughts create our reality. And so often we don't know that, and we don't think it matters how we think or how we view ourself or what a perspective is, but when you get the chance to really [00:10:00] unpack your own way of thinking with a coach, you can then go, oh.

Maybe this part isn't for me anymore, and maybe this kind of thinking is, and changing your thinking will completely change your life. I've seen that in my life. You've seen that in yours, Chandler. Gosh, it's been so beautiful to witness in your life and for all of my clients and for everyone who comes to happy camp.

It just gives you the power back in your life. So that's what mindset coaching is in a big nutshell. 

Chandler Stroud: And I think easy to understand why women [00:10:30] would want that kind of counseling and support when you're really going to the depths of how you understand yourself and shifting, not just the story you tell yourself or the stories, but you're.

Like we're talking about today, how you view your role in the world, that identity and what it means to you and what it means to all of those around you who you've been supporting. 

Katie Wee: Yes, 

Chandler Stroud: so I think, you know, when women are at a crossroads, either with a big decision or with interpersonal matters, I mean, I.[00:11:00] 

I certainly can attest. I reached out to you when I felt like I was doing, I was making so much progress in my healing with some of my healers, whether it be Jen and Therapy or Karen and Myofascial release, and I realized there was this untapped world of. Mindset and what is the mindset I bring, not just to my healing journey, but to my day-to-day, to my relationships, to my mothering, to my community engagement.

And you really [00:11:30] open the door and shine the light on how important that work can be for me. And I just, I'm so grateful I've never looked back. 

Katie Wee: I love that. I'm, I'm so grateful for you too. And. The reasons why people will reach out to me are because they wanna create a change in their life. And I think a lot of us are not really sure how to navigate the future.

Whether it's like we just sit and receive and kinda like whatever God wants or whatever the universe wants, I'll receive it and that's okay. Or is it like I'm in control and [00:12:00] I can make what I want happen? It's really a co-creation with the universe. We are constantly co-creating our life with the divine.

We are the divine. We are that spark of the universe. We are that light of God. And when we take. Of that co-creative responsibility, we really step into what I believe the creator wants for us. I don't think we're meant to just sit and receive and be like, thank you and okay, I'll deal with this. We're meant to go, this is what I want and this is how I'm gonna line up with it.

It's not so much about all the right action items, doing more, it's about [00:12:30] being the version of you who already is receiving those outcomes. And that's been really interesting for me as a mother because. I started to realize when I got pregnant, oh my gosh, in nine months, I'm gonna be a role model for somebody.

I'm going to be, whether I'm aware of it or not, and whether I'm intentional with it or not, rubbing off on someone 24 7, she's gonna pick up on my vibes, on my energy, on my belief systems, on my behavior on the way I treat myself, on the way I treat other people. She's going to download [00:13:00] my operating system, and it got to be this.

Point of intentionality for me of like, okay, who do I wanna be? What kind of mother do I wanna be once I'm a role model for somebody 24 7, not just when I'm in a session or leading a happy camp, but if I'm a role model for somebody 24 7, who do I want to be? And it really helped me kind of ask some of those deeper questions and I realized.

I wanna be someone who knows her worth. I don't wanna be somebody who's struggling for approval. I don't want my daughter to think that approval's out there. That [00:13:30] validation comes from other people, that my value as a person, as a woman comes from achievements or accomplishments. I want to be the type of woman who is so embodied in her truth that I'm valuable no matter what.

I'm valuable. If I'm 135 pounds or I'm 175 pounds, I am valuable. If I'm working, I'm valuable. If I'm not, I'm valuable. If I'm doing a great job as a mother and just crushing it, [00:14:00] or I'm spilling a milk bottle all over both of us in the middle of the night and then sleeping through that somehow, like it's all okay.

I want to be someone who embodies radical self-love and radical self-acceptance 24 7. So. It helped me in pregnancy become much more mindful of how I was showing up with myself. Like, am I blaming myself for things that I don't need to be so hard on myself for? Am I holding myself to this crazy standard of like, if I check all these things off my list today, I've done a good job, [00:14:30] would I want my daughter to see me like that?

Or am I gonna go, Hey, I'm cool with myself all the time. I love myself all the time. I'm trusting myself and the universe. I'm trusting life. I'm not living in fear. I'm not white knuckling life. I'm accepting, I'm allowing. Pregnancy was really an opportunity for me to become a more relaxed version of myself.

I realized through my own healing journey that I've lived so much of my life in survival mode and not because I literally needed to survive. I've had a really. Lush [00:15:00] existence. I've had a lot of things go really well, but because trauma often puts the body into hypervigilance and survival mode, I caught myself recreating it over and over again.

I would manufacture circumstances where I was so tight on money when I didn't need to be like overspending under working, saying no to opportunities that could have provided good financial cushions for me, saying yes to the things that kept me sort of scarce, enjoying that kind of. Stress, feeling [00:15:30] like I was always in survival mode.

Not sleeping enough, working out too much, working too much. Overcommitting, undern, nourishing under sleeping. Just keeping myself in this kind of place of feeling fraught and like I've gotta keep up with my life. Just gotta keep going. Just like one toothbrush to the next. Like, can I just make it through these next four hours and slept four hours last night?

But can I teach four workout classes today? And I realized so many different times in my life, like, gosh, you don't need to be living like this. But I keep it going because it's habitual and it's comfortable. [00:16:00] And pregnancy was sort of like a hard line in the sand of like, I'm not gonna do that anymore.

I'm somebody else's environment. I'm somebody else's home right now. I'm gonna be relaxed. I am going to put on some relaxing music and close my eyes, take a little nap if I feel like it. I'm gonna journal. I'm gonna garden. I'm gonna do the things that just truly put me at ease. I'm not gonna feel guilty about that.

I'm gonna get away from this productivity mindset of like, my value is based on my [00:16:30] productivity, because that's not good for my nervous system, which is not good for the baby incubating inside of me, and it's honestly just not the place I wanna live from when I have a little girl. You know, here, and like, like today, she kind of pushed up on her elbows a little bit for the first time she's been doing tummy time.

And as she pushed up and like looked at me, I was like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so glad I'm here for this. I'm so glad that I would rather be here than to have the time to curl my hair. Like, yeah, this matters more. I wanna be the type of person who can be in the moment rather than being in the future all [00:17:00] the time.

So pregnancy helped me cultivate that and that mindset I'm so grateful for because as a mom. Gosh, I just, I don't wanna miss anything, and I feel like I'm able to be so much more present now that I'm not trying to constantly hustle for my self-worth or my validation, and I've just become more committed to that transition.

Chandler Stroud: I think you answered this in your beautiful explanation of what pregnancy offered you in terms of that awareness of [00:17:30] the kind of mom you wanted to be and the kind of energy you wanted to cultivate. I. But if there's anything else you wanna add. I'm just curious, why do you believe that identity is such a powerful lever for change?

Sometimes even more than our habits or goals. 

Katie Wee: Mm-hmm. My own life experience. So what I've learned about in my own life, and then what I've learned about when I've started studying manifestation and teaching it is that. We become the version of ourself who's ready for a [00:18:00] certain outcome, and then the outcome arrives.

So often we're like, well, once I have that much money, once I make that much money, then I'm gonna feel safe. But you have to actually start feeling safe. And abundant to attract that money, or we go, once I'm a mom, then I'll be happy, but until then I'm not happy. It's like, no, you have to be happy in your life now and that will attract, that will help you get pregnant.

It seems crazy to think like you have to become it before you [00:18:30] actually receive it, but that's the way manifestation works and I think that that's because God, the universe, the divine, whatever term works best for you, knows that you are all of those things. You are everything. You have every quality of the divine inside of you.

It's just that some you've paid more attention to than others. Some you've watered a lot. Like I watered my hypervigilance, my achievement oriented brain, my insecurity, all those parts of myself I watered many times in my life I didn't always water my feeling of I already have what I [00:19:00] need. I already am enough.

I already am abundant. I already am loved. When you start to live from the end, meaning embody the state of the wish fulfilled. So the wish fulfilled in this case was motherhood. And motherhood came with a couple other things for me. I wanted, when I was manifesting this stage, really started manifesting this before I even met my husband.

Started to see this vision of my life and it was like, oh, in this vision, I am married to someone [00:19:30] who just loves me and sees me so fully and supports me and appreciates me in every way. And. Makes me feel just so loved and like so snuggly and we have kids and I feel like I am just this like earth mother, like I am this, yeah.

Like I am this like embodiment of my most divine self. I'm a great role model for my daughter and I feel in my life settled and joyful and present and like time has slowed [00:20:00] down and I've slowed down with it. And I envisioned this kind of existence for myself. And then piece by piece, it started to magnetize to me.

And now we also, while I was pregnant, moved to my favorite place in the world, lake Tahoe. I'm looking out my window at the snow. It's like, I love living here. I'm so happy here. I. I have that in my relationship. I feel so loved, so adored, so seen, and then I'm feeling like this version of who I wanted to be as a mother, like this most divine manifestation of me.

The one who [00:20:30] has embodied the lessons she's learned, not just knows them in her head, but knows them in her body. Who can. Be a role model effortlessly without having to teach anything. Just in my being. The reason identity is so important is because that's the precursor for having what we want. We become it, then we receive it.

So if you have this vision for yourself, if you're listening and it's different. Than where you are right now. Maybe it's a different career, maybe it's a different relationship. Maybe it's feeling freer within [00:21:00] yourself. Maybe it's being the version of you that you felt most like in college or in high school.

It's coming. Coming back to authenticity, to to your core. You have to visualize it, really visualize it, see it. What do you wear? How do you talk? How do you enter a room? What do you think about, how do you feel? Most importantly, how do you feel? How does that version of you feel and how is that different from how you feel right now?

And what I felt with motherhood was, gosh, the [00:21:30] version of me when I was imagining this. This life. She loves herself and she knows she's enough and she's just present in time. She's not rushing and she just. Is enough for herself and it was, it was work to get here. It took a few years to get to this place, and I'm not done and I'll never be done.

But when enough of you becomes, when enough of your energy is in this state, is in the state of the future version of [00:22:00] you, you attract the results that you're looking for. You attract the husband. For me, the business, the pregnancy, the move. All of this manifested because I became this version of me first.

So identity who you believe yourself to be is a huge. Determinant of what you will receive. And so often we're trying to create new results with the same identity and we're like, I'll just work really hard. I'll just, you know, take all the meetings I'm supposed to take. I'll look up on chat, [00:22:30] GPT, what are the steps one should take to achieve this result?

And I'll do it all. But we haven't changed our energy. We haven't shifted how we feel about ourself. And doing that inner work to actually shift into the identity of the version of you who already has all of that, that's the work that will actually bring you to the result that you want. 

Chandler Stroud: And how do women who are listening to you and thinking, yes, I want that, like how, how do you do that inner work, Katie?

What? And, and you can [00:23:00] answer this from the perspective of how you coach clients. You know, how do you get them to pull those stories they're telling themselves? Pull those identities that they currently are existing to the surface so they become more aware of them and can start changing them. 

Katie Wee: Mm-hmm.

Well. Step one, come to Happy Camp if you can come. Co-sign Happy camp. Yes. Because I will walk you through my signature process over a period of a few days. And my gosh, [00:23:30] having that kind of intensity of doing this work and that kind of container, that really solidifies the change so beautifully. But if you're at home listening and you wanna start right now, I would first look at your fears.

Why do you think you don't have what you want yet? It's a hard question to ask ourselves, right? But so often we're going, I really wanna be seen as a leader. I want a, a management role. I want to be in that higher position. I want to be, I wanna have more power, I wanna have more influence. [00:24:00] And if you ask yourself, why don't you think you have that yet?

Your deepest fears will come out. Journal about it, or just talk to yourself out loud in your car. Why don't you think you have that right now? And you might say, oh, 'cause I'm not really, I don't really have anything original to say. That's your fear. This is not necessarily the truth. What your brain tells you is not necessarily the truth, but your fears are what blocks you from that future version of you.

So if that's you and you're really wanting power and you're really wanting a promotion [00:24:30] and you're really wanting more visibility. But you're not getting it, and you ask yourself, why is that not happening? Some of us might eventually offload that to somebody else. Well, because my management's poor, because the people above me dunno what they're doing.

And often that leaves us in this place of going, okay, I don't have to change anything. And the victim mindset can continue, right? Because it's somebody else's fault. It's something else's fault. Well, it's 'cause I had a kid and I got pushed back on the career track and I would be where I wanted to be if I didn't have a kid.

Well take it away from [00:25:00] everybody else and just ask yourself if it were just me. But we're about me. What is it about me that's not helping me get to that next level? And you might say, oh, 'cause maybe I don't have anything original to say. Maybe I don't really have what it takes to have that leadership potential.

And I'd, I'd question you, I'd ask you to go dig deep, deeper. Why don't you think you have anything valuable to say? Well, I think I'm just not that smart. And then you might look at that and go, wait a second. Interesting. I want you [00:25:30] to hold that belief hostage. When you get down to a really core, really honest belief, that feels like embarrassing, hard, vulnerable to get to, whether it's, I'm just not that smart, I just don't have what it takes, or I'm just not really worthy of that question that.

And to really look at that and say, is it true? Is that true? And maybe it feels true to you, but is it true objectively? Would it hold up in court? Is it true to everyone in there around you? Is that a [00:26:00] fact? Is that a law? Is that definitely true? And to question that, and hopefully it gets to the place of going, okay, maybe it's not completely true, and then you ask yourself, well, what behavior?

Manifests when I'm really believing that we're really looking here at what we call a limiting belief. And you may go, well, yeah, when I, when I believe that I'm not really that smart and I'm in a staff meeting, I start talking and then I pull it all back and I actually backpedal on everything I said, and I kind of shrink into my seat and people around me probably think, okay, she's not [00:26:30] really that confident in what she's thinking or saying.

And they're probably thinking, yeah, that's probably not the person I would promote. Right? And when you're thinking, I'm not that, I'm just not that smart. You send an email and you're like, well I should check it five times. I should check it five times 'cause I'm not that smart. And in the checking it five times, you take out everything that was impactful.

'cause you're like, ah, I should, maybe that's controversial. Maybe that's not what they wanna hear. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Maybe that sounds too brazen. You take out everything that [00:27:00] would've made you a leader in that conversation. Right. It's interesting how so often the things that we do that come from our fears take away the having of the thing that we think we want.

And when we look at the behaviors that we. Manifest. When we're believing that belief, we realize that's sort of where we're sabotaging ourself. And that's important to ask yourself, okay, well, well who would I be without this belief? And all of this is based on the work of Byron Katie, by the way. She has some great books if you're interested in checking her out.

And if [00:27:30] we look at who we would be without that belief, kinda go like I'm usually, you're kinda. Kind of cool. Sometimes you're like, I'd be kind of badass. I would be a thought leader. I would be somebody that other people come to for advice on this. I might even write a book on this because I actually know this stuff really well.

I just pretend like I don't because I don't wanna be seen as too pushy or too strong, or too bold or too powerful. Who would I be without this belief that I'm not smart if I just didn't have that a tinkering round in my head? I [00:28:00] would dress differently. I would show up to work differently. I would speak to my boss about ideas I have.

I would come forward and put myself up for promotions when the opportunity arises. I would speak as the thought leader that I know I can be, and I would actually prepare myself pretty beautifully for that promotion, for that powerful position that I want. When you. Imagine even just give yourself the space to imagine who you would be without that fearful belief governing your existence.

You open up a whole new timeline. You open [00:28:30] up a whole new life possibility, and then you start to say, okay, well what would I do if I believed the opposite belief? So I am smart. If I believed I am smart, I would. X, Y, Z start making a list of behaviors, actions you would take, thoughts you would think, and then start doing those acting as if, acting as if you believe that different belief.

When you change your belief system, which is how you change your identity, you change your whole reality. So it's really just about imagining. [00:29:00] A new future for yourself where your fearful mind isn't running the show and then doing the work to start to act like the version of you who doesn't have those fears, holding them back, and then you start to receive the results and you're like, oh, wow, this actually kind of works.

And you start to believe more and more that new belief. I am smart. I am smart. If you don't believe it right now. The opposite of your fearful belief. Just pretend like you do. Just act like the version of you that does, and eventually you'll get to the other side and you'll start creating a different reality that feels [00:29:30] so good to you.

Chandler Stroud: That was such a great prescription for anyone looking to shift their identity and broken down in such tangible pieces. I really appreciate you walking us through that, Katie, and I loved hearing that from this point in my own journey because like you and I have walked through this one-on-one before and I've been living it, and like I hear it and I'm like, okay, yeah, change my beliefs, change my beliefs.

But like once you get far enough, I can like retroactively now kind of [00:30:00] look back in time and think about the beliefs that I used to hold as mine that I have since challenged and abandoned. And I can honestly say that has been so freeing. I think it is a lot of work. You have to first identify that you have the belief in the first place.

Decide what it looks like to live without that belief, but then practice stepping into that future version and. That's where you waffle, I think a lot back and forth between like, okay, I'm gonna do this, and this is not in character with this old [00:30:30] belief. But then you get triggered and you're pulled back and I think it's really cool to hear you talk about it in that way.

But it does make me question, you know, especially in your own journey. Post, you know, now having L with you and being in what is arguably in my perspective, the hardest part of motherhood, which is those first three to four months where, you know, it's just sometimes I think you can feel so alone, those late nights up with L and.

Feedings [00:31:00] and not feeling like yourself quite yet and not knowing what you're doing. And there's so many emotions and feelings and hormones involved in those first months, but I'm curious, were there moments that you noticed old versions of yourself getting triggered along the way? Or how did you handle and navigate those moments if they occurred?

Katie Wee: Totally, totally noticed myself getting triggered. Yes. It's interesting because women go through a transition. There's three [00:31:30] spiritual phases of being a woman, the maiden, the mother, and the crone. And it's not like we graduate from one to the next. We are constantly moving between them, but. Going from having no children to having a child really does move you pretty powerfully from maiden to mother.

And the maiden phase is about curiosity, self focus, trying things out, creating an identity. And the mother phase is about really devoting yourself to the creations that you already have. It's really different. So [00:32:00] maiden for me was like reinventing myself. I really, I reinvented myself a couple different times in my life and.

Would follow my curiosity and just go with it. And I would have all the time to devote to my curiosity like, I'm interested in this. I'm gonna go to a retreat on it. I'm interested in this, I'm gonna teach about it. I'm gonna learn more. I'm gonna do a training. And then the mother is like, no, I need to nurture this creation that I have.

Al has become my biggest focus. I was, when she was first born, I [00:32:30] put my forehead against hers at one point, and she just stayed there for a long time and it's like we both were just like breathing together. I was like, whoa, this is cool. And I felt like she said to me, make me your number one priority. I just got that message and I, whether it came from me or came from her, it was just this feeling of like, oh, oh, yeah.

Yeah, I haven't been doing that a hundred percent. I'm used to being my own number one priority and shifting to her being my number one priority. The maiden version of me who's like used to having all my time as myself is like, what [00:33:00] do you mean over curious about this? I wanna read a whole book on, it's like, I don't have time to read a chapter, let alone, I said, look, it's like, what do you mean?

I want to, you know, hold three retreats this year. You're gonna have time to hold one retreat this year, there's been this part of me that loves to keep expanding, expanding, creating, achieving, kind of like conquering new lands. I'm ambitious. I. My nature is to always want to be growing, and there's been sort of this push pull of [00:33:30] like, Hey, you are growing in different ways right now, but you're gonna maybe be doing less, you're gonna be offering less, you're gonna be putting less time and energy into your career and more into your home.

And that's a choice. You don't have to do that. If I wanted to, we could talk about getting a nanny and me being able to have as much time in my career as I did before, but that wasn't the choice I wanted to make. That wasn't what I wanted for motherhood. I really wanted to be fully present with her. And I've [00:34:00] told Billy, I'm like, I wanna be.

80% stay at home mom, 20% working. But the time that I am working, I want it to be really impactful. And so it's really challenged me to find ways to deliver my message more broadly. And. I've been looking more into, you know, rather than just working with my one-on-one clients, finding ways to speak more broadly and to offer workshops and retreats out there and to promote them to [00:34:30] farther reaches using, you know, ads to target people in other countries to really do my best to find the way to.

Cast the biggest net so that when I am working, I have the opportunity to reach as many people as possible. And I love this podcast for that reason too, that you're listening right now. There's, I don't, there's a good chance we don't know each other. There's a good chance you've never Yeah. Been to happy camp or seen my work or worked with me.

And I just want, it's helped me provide clarity and it's [00:35:00] helped me have clarity in my life of what I want and what I want is to really teach. As broadly as possible, as many people as possible to help. As many people as I can claim their own lives, empower themselves to create the future that they want, get the keys to their own kingdom.

My goal with coaching, with teaching is never to have somebody be like a lifetime client. It's like, no, learn and go use it. Mm-hmm. Get the keys to your kingdom. Go. And I want to give those to as many people as possible. So it's [00:35:30] really helped me in motherhood. Find ways to be effective, more effective with less time.

And that's a challenging needle to thread. But I'm grateful that I, I have this challenge 'cause it's pushing me to really. Encompass, or it's pushing me to really embody my dharma and my, my destiny and everything I'm here to do in this time. To, to like get serious about how I can do everything I wanna do with less time.

And then [00:36:00] also be fully present for my daughter when I'm with her because I don't wanna miss anything. And I really love being a mostly stay at home mom. I just have to figure out how to balance everything into how, how to let that mother side of me who. Pays really close attention to her creations and nurtures her creations, let her lead, and to nurture everything I already have and my business and my work, rather than constantly trying to create more and to achieve more and to externally validate.

It's pushing [00:36:30] me to go inward and to remember. Everything is here that I need. I don't need anything else. I just need to really pay attention and take care of what's what's already here. 

Chandler Stroud: One question and just listening to you kind of go deep into that experience for you, why do identity shifts often feel destabilizing before they feel empowering?

Katie Wee: Oh my gosh. Great question because. Our identity is formed based on how we're used to feeling about ourselves, [00:37:00] whether we like it or not. If you're used to feeling like everything works out for other people and I just never quite get what I want, and then all of a sudden you meet some great partner and you have this like great relationship and you're so happy, it's kind of destabilizing at first.

You be like, wait, I have what I want. I'm not used to having what I want. Your brain doesn't know what to do with the new information, whether we like it or not. We're used to the emotions that we're. We're most accustomed to feeling. So if we feel annoyed all the time and frustrated and like we do [00:37:30] resentful, even though we don't like feeling those feelings, our body is used to that chemical composition of those feelings.

And that's where I, our identity lives. And then as circumstances change. We start to feel different and it feels a little scary. Our nervous system doesn't have a basis for that. So as you change, whether it's because you've decided to change your belief systems and you're gonna try on something different, and you're gonna act a little different, you're gonna think a little different.

Or your circumstances change. You know, all of a sudden your boss is like, here's the promotion. You're like, I wasn't expecting that. Or, [00:38:00] yeah, your life changes. You decide to stay home instead of being at work and your identity shifts. You're like, whoa. I'm used to feeling. Good about myself because my boss said, great job on this.

Or because I hit my mark for my quota for sales or because, and now I don't have any of those, like, how do I feel good about myself? I'm supposed to feel good about myself 'cause I was just really present. Or you know, all of a sudden you're not used to making an identity from the feelings that are available to you.

And [00:38:30] it will feel weird because you live in a, your body has a nervous system. That's job is to make sure you feel safe. And your nervous system won't have a solid footing in that new identity for a while. It just feels kind of like walking on ice a little. Like, can I step here? Is that okay? Woo. That one kind of took my my feet off from under me and to anybody dealing with that right now where you're just not totally locked in on this identity.

Kudos to you, and just keep going. Just keep going. Be willing for it to be uncomfortable, and it gets a little [00:39:00] less uncomfortable every day, every time you make a choice from your future self's thinking rather than your current self's thinking. Every time you do that, you become more and more like that version of you, and then you become more embodied in the characteristics of the future version of you who already has what they want.

It feels wonky. 100% of the time in the beginning and then 

Chandler Stroud: and sometimes deeply uncomfortable. 

Katie Wee: Yes. Deeply, deeply uncomfortable. You might cry, you might get angry like you. What are some of the like uncomfortable [00:39:30] feelings that you felt in transformation Shan? 

Chandler Stroud: Oh, well, I think, I think just exposed in some ways too, like I was making choices not to do things I would've typically done because I was embarrassed about what something would mean and not doing that thing made me feel really vulnerable and exposed and seen in a way I hadn't been comfortable being seen before.

Mm-hmm. And I think that [00:40:00] was incredibly uncomfortable, and I think it also, what starts to happen is you realize. In some cases you outgrow relationships too, and I think that often is hopefully an easy transition, but often it requires a really difficult conversation in some cases. And I think that's another really hard part of this, but it's a choice, right?

And you can choose. To interact and be in that identity that kept you stuck. Or you can choose this new [00:40:30] identity and come at that conversation or those moments of growth from a place of kindness and love, not just for yourself, but for the other person. Right. And think about how your future self would be proud of you navigating that.

Katie Wee: Mm-hmm. 

Chandler Stroud: And. I think when you do that consciously, it can be really challenging, but so freeing and so rewarding on the other side. 

Katie Wee: Yes, completely. And as you're talking, it reminds me that none of these are accidents. Like [00:41:00] everything that's challenging as you're changing isn't an accident. It's not. Not supposed to be happening.

The challenges that you face while you're changing are the gifts from the universe to help you level up. Because every time you go through something hard and you choose the light, you choose to move towards the light. You become more yourself, more f, more fully yourself every time you choose from love of yourself, loving yourself enough to fight for that future version of you to try on [00:41:30] those beliefs that actually feel good when you believe them.

Every time you move from that place, you become more, you become more like the creator, more fully embodied in your love. Every time you move from fear, every time you let the old program create the new story, you are stepping farther and farther away from the version of you that you wish to become, and you're not doing yourself any favors.

That's the opposite of self-love. And so even though it might seem easy to just kinda keep doing things as, as you've always done [00:42:00] them, it's harder in the long run. Because you're creating more distance between you and your most authentic self. Your most authentic self is your most golden self, your most God-like self, your most enlightened self, your most self-loving, free, joyful, you every lesson in your path.

Everything that's hard is just helping you get closer to that because you have to decide every time something comes up, how am I gonna respond to this the way I always have, or. Choosing the light, [00:42:30] choosing to go towards what I really want. Choosing to maybe have the hard conversation to create more energetic space in your life.

To say maybe to someone, I, I don't have the capacity for this relationship anymore. It doesn't work for me anymore. So that you can be the version of you that you really wanna be in your life rather than just sort of meeting other people's needs and staying small so that other people feel good. If you are experiencing something challenging right now.

Ask yourself, what might this be trying to teach [00:43:00] me? What am I being asked to learn right now? It's an opportunity. It's an opportunity to grow. And as you grow that wisdom you collect, that's your real wealth. That wisdom is what keeps you not stepping in that same pothole in the future. That wisdom is what creates the foundation for you to graduate to the next lesson.

And as I said in the beginning, divine timing means you get what you want. Not just when you want it, when you've become the person who's ready to receive [00:43:30] it. And so if you take the opportunity to learn and to grow, you put yourself on the path to having more of what you want as well. These lessons aren't accidents.

They're gifts.

Chandler Stroud: Katie, if someone takes one thing from our conversation today, what do you hope it is? 

Katie Wee: If you take one thing from this conversation, I hope you remember that you are the creator of your reality. You create your future. You create your life with the divine, [00:44:00] and the way that you're doing that consciously is by your belief system about who you are, about what you deserve, about what's possible for you.

And if you have beliefs there that are holding you back from having what you want, question them. Because you deserve everything you want. And sitting in this place where I feel so fully, like I really have everything I asked for and everything I want, and I feel so grateful. I am so grateful to my past self for [00:44:30] questioning all the beliefs that stood in my way, that made me feel like I couldn't have this beliefs like.

You know you're damaged, you can't have a healthy relationship, or it's too late, you can't have a family, or you'll never be able to live in Tahoe. That's a challenging thing to figure out. How will you be able to do that? Everything in my life has come together beautifully, in part because of. What God and the universe has gifted me, and in part because of the ways that I've chosen to change my belief system, to believe that I'm worthy of everything I [00:45:00] want and can have everything I want, and then choosing to live as that version of me who believes those things.

Just remember you can have what you want. You just have to be willing to question your belief system so that you can create the reality and the identity that's gonna get you everything you really deserve. 

Chandler Stroud: Well, I can't think of a better way to sign off today's conversation, Katie. Thank you for that.

Really powerful [00:45:30] reminder, both for me and our listeners today. It's been so much fun catching up with you and hearing about all that's changed for you, and I'm so grateful for you sharing not just your experience, but your wisdom and words of advice for. Any listener out there who feels stuck or facing a big change, or just wants more for herself in her life.

I really hope you take Katie's words to heart, and thank you so much for joining us today, Katie. I just, [00:46:00] I love these conversations together. Thank you. 

Katie Wee: Thank you so much, Chandler. I love them too. I'm so grateful to you for this opportunity, and thank you to everyone who's been listening. I hope to stay in touch with you and, yeah, just grateful for this. Thank you, Chandler. 

Chandler Stroud: Well, thank you Katie. The feeling's Mutual. And Katie, before we jump, I think you are going to announce the next Happy Camp location in the next couple weeks, correct? 

Katie Wee: Yes, yes, [00:46:30] I have. Actually, I'm gonna let the. Listeners in on a little secret. Now we are going to Sardinia, Italy.

I am so excited. September 5th through 12th. It's a week long retreat. We've never had a week long happy camp. This is going to be the most luscious one yet. We're staying in a private villa with a chef steps from the beach. We are going to go deep into yoga, meditation, mindset, coaching, beach meditations, and you're going to leave as the most.

Happy, [00:47:00] joyful, powerful version of you who knows how to manifest and will create like a whole new vision for this next chapter of your life, which so many people are craving right now. This year, the year of a snake is the beginning of a whole new nine year cycle of creation, and so we're gonna get very intentional about what it is you want to create.

How you can move through your blocks, how you can make that happen in your reality. And you're gonna leave as an upgraded version of you. So I hope we have a, it's very limited space, so we're opening the wait list. [00:47:30] If you are interested in coming, join the wait list. And then as soon as spots are open, you'll get an email and you can book one of those spots.

It's going to be, it's. I think the best happy camp yet. I'm so excited. 

Chandler Stroud: I mean hard to beat Sardinia, Italy. I know. Thank you for sharing, Katie. You guys heard it here First, mark your calendars for September of 2026. You can visit Katie's website for more. We'll link it in the resources. But thank you to everyone for joining us today.

If you enjoyed our conversation, [00:48:00] please share it with friends and don't forget to subscribe. You can also visit Healing Heroes Podcast. Dot com to get resources, meet the heroes, and share your ideas for future episodes. Thanks for listening, everyone, and until next time, remember, be curious, be courageous, and be kind to yourself.

You've got this.