Holiday Re-Release: Self-Trust Can Help You Accomplish Your 2026 Goals

Already working on your 2026 mood board? Or maybe listing your resolutions and goals for the next 12 months?  Well, for this special New Year's episode, we’re revisiting our end-of-year conversation with Hero Bonnie Heim about the secret to achieving even your loftiest ambitions. As an Accountability Coach, Bonnie gives insightful tips and valuable reminders for accomplishing any new goals you set for yourself. Enjoy!

And stay tuned, new episodes are on the way in 2026!

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Self-trust is the cornerstone of achieving your New Year's goals, and it begins with small daily commitments. These tiny but mighty non-negotiable wins can reinforce your belief in your ability to follow through. Self-trust is about showing up for yourself consistently, even when faced with discomfort, and using accountability as a tool to stay on track. Each step, when taken with intention, creates a cycle of growth, building confidence and resilience along the way. Cultivating self-trust also requires self-compassion, as acknowledging your efforts and celebrating progress enhances a positive mindset. By trusting yourself, you unlock the power to overcome challenges and create meaningful, lasting change.

In this episode, we talk about self-trust—what it is, why it matters, and how to identify and leverage it for your 2026 aspirations.

What You Will Learn

• [09:47] What true self-trust is, and how it shows up in our life
• [11:01] The 3 daily non-negotiable wins that will help you ground and build up trust
• [14:27] How cultivating self-trust helps us lean into discomfort to achieve
• [15:47] How to set goals, build trust, and consistently show up for yourself 
• [23:27] Why following through on commitments is so vital to self-trust
• [26:46] An example of how the ability to trust oneself can transform with accountability
• [30:15] The role of self-compassion in cultivating self-trust  
• [37:31] How accountability coaches can serve as external validation 
• [42:28] Daily practices to hold yourself accountable and build self-trust
• [46:50] How accountability and self-trust help create fulfillment and confidence in life
• [50:12] Slow and steady: Setting and achieving your 2025 resolutions 

Let’s Connect!
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Bonnie Heim

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Chandler Stroud

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Mixing and editing provided by Next Day Podcast.

Transcript

Chandler Stroud: [00:00:00] Hey guys, it's Chandler and welcome to The Healing Heroes. I promise you.

I'm Chandler Stroud, an executive wife and busy mom of two who after years of living with anxiety. Health struggles and an unshakeable feeling like I should be happier, made a profound discovery that changed everything. Join me on a journey where unexpected paths lead to [00:00:30] healing and more happiness. On this show, we will explore unconventional ways to unlock more joy in your own life with the help of my very own healers.

And trusted advisors, the healing heroes.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Healing Heroes podcast. Today we have Bonnie back with us, and we will be talking all about self-trust, not just what it is [00:01:00] and why it's important, but how to recognize whether you really trust yourself or not, and what you can do to cultivate more self-trust for growth, expansion, and fulfillment in life.

First, I'd love to tell a story that I did share on our Instagram account a few weeks ago, about a time when I was unexpectedly forced to trust myself in what could have been a real life or death situation. Let me take you back to this past August. [00:01:30] It's 7:00 AM and I'm standing nearly 2000 feet above sea level on the side of Lion's Head Mountain in South Africa.

It was a sunny morning, which required me to squint as the wind whipped. All around me making it difficult to hear my guide as we edged closer to the exposure point in front of us, which if you aren't familiar with hiking jargon simply means a part of the path that has a high risk of injury. The exposure point was curved [00:02:00] around a narrow section of Cliff where the trail narrowed around the side of the mountain and you were fully exposed to the elements.

One large sidestep and you'd go tumbling down. We had already done sections of scrambling, which means using your hands to climb and pull yourself up and pass through a ladder, which is a literal ladder bolted into the side of the mountain to preserve the trail and provide easy access up where there often is [00:02:30] no other route full.

Exposure. I agreed to this hike after being sick with a stomach bug the few days prior. Since I thought an easy trail hike in the great outdoors on our last day in Africa before boarding a 15 hour flight would help me feel better. However, I hadn't been sleeping much. I was still a bit weak from feeling sick, and most importantly.

I am absolutely terrified of heights. Yet here I am [00:03:00] gripping onto the side of this mountain for dear life. With sweaty palms, my heart is racing with fear and anxiety. My legs feel weak underneath me. I kept thinking I want to succeed and summit this thing, not just for me, but to prove to my guide I'm a capable athlete, and to show my hiking buddies that I can keep up.

It was at this roundabout that I said to my guide, once we get through this, I need to wait for [00:03:30] you guys to summit and come back for me. My guide nodded and reached for my hand to lead me around the turn. As I edged closer to him and I saw the drop below, it occurred to me. I tell listeners all the time to feel the fear and do it anyway, and that we can do hard things.

I knew in that moment I had to let the discomfort move through me and address it the only way I know how. By [00:04:00] trusting myself and channeling my heroes to give me the pep talk I needed to keep going. I summited lion's head that day and eventually made my way back down the hard way with everybody else, not second guessing myself or my abilities for another minute after reaching the top.

That day, I reinforced the principle that I can trust myself and that strengthened belief. I now carry way beyond [00:04:30] Lion's head into other pursuits in my life, using it as proof whenever needed, that I'm capable of whatever I put my mind to. Today we're gonna talk about how the best things in life. Are on the other side of discomfort and how self-trust allows us to get uncomfortable and rise to the challenge before we dive in.

I'd love to offer a quick refresher on Bonnie's background for any new listeners joining us for the first time. [00:05:00] Bonnie has changed hundreds of lives as a lifestyle coach with all in a program that focuses on accountability, one-on-one, personalized coaching, and tools that inspire a co. Lasting lifestyle shift toward good health and fitness.

After personally succeeding with the program, she was tapped a coach where her focus with clients is to build a lasting lifestyle through movement and clean fuel, and to help readjust their mindset and approach to one of positivity and [00:05:30] optimism. Bonnie, welcome back. It is so good to see you today. Thank you for being back with us.

Bonnie Heim: Thank you. I'm so looking forward to this, and I loved that story and I felt that fear and sense of conquering it all. So cool. Ugh. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that 

Chandler Stroud: because I have to tell you, I was in tears on the top of that mountain. Oh, oh yeah. I really there before. Oh, it was so terrifying. But I really drew my strength from you, from the heroes and from really trusting myself that [00:06:00] I had been through worse and come out the other side.

And that self-trust was not something I had. Even at that level a year ago, let alone five, 10 years ago. I, I personally think all in especially, was really an impetus for me cultivating that kind of self-trust in my life. So I'm really excited to talk all about that with you today. 

Bonnie Heim: I agree. I think that there is such a when we are so far out of our comfort zone.

You conquer something like [00:06:30] that. That is such a big fear. 'cause I'm terrified of heights as well. And snakes, let's, let's be clear on that. But it is, we're all scared of snakes. It is, well not everyone. But such a rush when you summit, I'm gonna use that term. And get over it, and you look back and you think what you've done, it is beyond powerful.

It is the coolest feeling in the world, and it is the biggest pat on the back that you can give yourself, which I just love. So kudos to you. I, I [00:07:00] appreciate the fear and you conquering it all. 

Chandler Stroud: Thank you, Bonnie. I really appreciate that. For our new listeners, Bonnie, can you quickly share a brief overview of what accountability coaching is and how in your experience as a coach for All In By Teddy, specifically, the program helps people reach their goals.

Bonnie Heim: So accountability, I like to say is the safety net that prevents you from falling off course and having to start again. At ground zero. It was the piece that I was missing from [00:07:30] my life because I was the queen of excuses and I had zero accountability I did to everyone else, but not to myself. So as an accountability coach, what we do it all in is.

Clients will set their goals and we hold them accountable to the goals that they've set for themselves. It can be food related. It can be that they want to shed some pounds. It can be cardio. It can be strength, it can be running. Even new moms that want postpartum support, we have an incredibly [00:08:00] wonderful uplifting program for them to help them get back to feeling their best and back on track.

It is whatever they want to add to their life. 'cause I think it's the most beautiful addition to have that accountability in there as that safety net and someone by your side that anyone can possibly give to themselves. It's the greatest gift that keeps on giving and I realize that personally, and that's what I hope and my wishes for my clients when I work with them.

Chandler Stroud: Thanks for that, Bonnie. I think that's a perfect summary of accountability, coaching, and what all in can offer, [00:08:30] and I would encourage you listeners, if you wanna know more about All In or accountability more broadly, highly recommend you go back and listen to our past conversations where we really go deep into what the program can offer.

It's such a powerful resource for women who are looking to cultivate self-trust. And make changes in their life. So I can't say enough good things about it. And those conversations were just so fun to have. 

Bonnie Heim: I also think that not only are you building a [00:09:00] relationship with your coach, but you're building a better relationship with yourself.

And that's what I realized and I discovered so much about myself that I never realized. Like the power, the strength, the positivity way I could flip a switch if my mind was going to negative thoughts or, you know, I can't do that. Yes, you can. So I think it's just such a overall relationship builder for yourself, understanding what you're capable of.

And I think so many of us as women or men don't realize what we are. [00:09:30] 

Chandler Stroud: I would totally agree, Bonnie, and actually that is the perfect transition into today's topic of self-trust. What does self-trust, true self-trust look like in your opinion? How does it show up in someone's life? 

Bonnie Heim: I think self-trust means that I know there's not one right answer that we all have to figure out what works for ourselves individually.

So whether that is facing your fears, because that's where opportunity [00:10:00] lies in my humble opinion. By facing the fears, you're not turning your back on your dreams and you're able to reach for more self-trust is building a stronger relationship within yourself and realizing that anything you set your mind to do, you can conquer.

And so whether that means doing something like. A visual board creating non-negotiables for yourself, which I'm a big believer in right now. I have several clients that aren't believing in themselves, and so I always like to say, what can [00:10:30] you do today? It doesn't have to be big, because sometimes when you start something new and you aren't.

Trusting yourself or believing in your capabilities. You don't understand where you can go and how far you can, what you can achieve. And so the non-negotiables can be so simple, whether it is, let's not even talk about all in, but reading a book. Getting a walk-in. What are you going to do for yourself today?

It's funny, someone sent me [00:11:00] something this morning and I love it, and it says that you need three daily wins. You need a physical win, which is exercise, walking, running, swimming, hiking, going, getting coffee with a friend, and, and including a walk-in there. You need a mental win, which can be reading, writing, meditating, creating.

You know, just coming back from happy camp, just the, the painting, something simple like that, that you're doing for yourself that you normally would not do, and you need a spiritual win, which I'm a very big believer in [00:11:30] that whether it is you are leaning into your faith, whether you are taking time for meditation, I personally love slow breathing.

Those are the wins that help you build up the trust. They are, in my opinion, the non-negotiables, that if you give that gift to yourself each day, you will be blown away. By what more you can accomplish. 

Chandler Stroud: I love what you're saying there because I think so often we think that you have to get really [00:12:00] uncomfortable to trust yourself.

And I think that's really where you can stress test yourself trust, right? But to build self-trust can be so simple. It's just showing up for yourself in ways that you wanna show up. Right. And I think. To your point, whether it's doing something that you enjoy each day and making sure you're squeezing that in, or, I love the framework you offered of something mental, physical, and spiritual for yourself.

I think I totally lived by those rules and I [00:12:30] mean, I was just joking with you before we came on here that it's Wednesday and I went to church this morning. Because I felt it. I needed that spiritual like reboot. Right? And being in church really helps. I do pray every morning, but I also love what you said about spiritual, because I think some people hear spiritual and they're like, I'm not religious.

I don't wanna go to church. Right? It can be meditation. Yes, it can be deep breathing. Going for a walk can be spiritual. So it's really just anything that reconnects you with that deepest part of [00:13:00] yourself and. Acknowledging that you're not alone, that there's something else in this world supporting you. 

Bonnie Heim: I agree.

I think it's, I'm gonna use the term grounding. What brings you back to center? I love that. And for myself, when life is chaotic and things seem out of control, that's slow breathing for myself. Is just as important as my faith. When I wake up in the morning, I express gratitude. I'll say five things that I'm grateful for.

Sometimes it's more because I have a lot to be [00:13:30] grateful for, but it grounds me people and and my clients. I say, what makes you happy? You've got to find what makes you happy, because that's where you're gonna build the self-trust. That's where you're gonna wanna continue to move forward, and that's where nothing but beautiful things will continue to come your way.

Chandler Stroud: I love that Bonnie and I am going to remember that we've talked, Lizzie and I in our conversations previously about prayer being a form of grounding and a rhythm that can consistently flow throughout our [00:14:00] lives, and I love that you. Equate spirituality with grounding because I completely agree that's exactly what it is.

Anything that grounds you is really a spiritual practice. So it is. It's, thank you for sharing that today. I think that's really, really special. How does building self-trust help us lean into discomfort? Like make you wanna do hard things that make you uncomfortable because of that self-trust? Like how does that work?

Bonnie Heim: When you lean into the hard things, you realize that the power has [00:14:30] always been yours. And that's what I always tell my clients. When you build up that self-trust, you find what perhaps you have lost over the past years. And for myself, that was me. I didn't believe in myself. I see so many clients that say I can't, and.

That's just not part of my vocabulary, and I don't want it to be part of anyone else's vocabulary if you are bad at making decisions. That's the beauty of having an accountability coach, because we will help you every step of the way. The other [00:15:00] thing I always say with regard to self-trust is don't overthink things like don't beat a dead horse into the ground.

Believe in yourself, take the steps forward, and it's all about those baby steps, as I was saying, with the non-negotiables, with trying something new when you're stepping out of that comfort zone. Which on a journey like this, with all in, you absolutely have to do, you're trying new foods, you are, you are getting movement in that perhaps you haven't done before.

And anything you do in life [00:15:30] that takes you above and beyond what is familiar to you. Is going to advance your growth. 

Chandler Stroud: Can you share thoughts on how setting those realistic goals contributes to building self-trust and what happens when we set goals that are maybe too ambitious or unattainable? 

Bonnie Heim: Well, I love ambitious goals because I think that's what really pushes you.

And for myself personally, I'll tell you a story. A few years ago I, when I was all in and I was running and I loved to run and walk and hike and whatever we'd gone out with [00:16:00] friends literally the night before the Portland Marathon. And I hadn't signed up, but they were gonna do it. They were gonna do the half marathon.

And I thought about it and I'm like, you know what? I wanna do the half marathon. So literally the night before the Portland half marathon, I went there at like 5:00 AM you can pay the morning of, and I did the half marathon for myself. Personally, I don't like to overthink things. I don't like to have things that are too far in advance.

So I'm kind of a not a last minute person, [00:16:30] but. I like to do things spur of the moment and that's when I push myself. And once I had signed like the next morning when I was up there and there, I'm like, what on earth before the gun went off? Like, what on earth am I doing? It was the best thing that helped me get so far out of my comfort zone, feel such a sense of accomplishment.

Know that anything I set my mind to do, which is what I tell my clients, they can, you can accomplish. So whether you do it in advance, unlike me, or whether you do it very last minute. Just [00:17:00] do it. Take the leap of faith in yourself and continue to build that self trusts. 

Chandler Stroud: Please tell me you had been on all in at this point and had been running regularly before you dove into a half marathon.

Bonnie Heim: I was 

Chandler Stroud: in 

Bonnie Heim: real, I was in really great shape. Okay. I had all, I had done half marathons before, but I hadn't thought of doing the Portland, and this was a mother-daughter team that was going to do it, and we did it together and it was fabulous. 

Chandler Stroud: Oh, that's so fun. Yeah. That's really fun. 

Bonnie Heim: So what I always like to say.

To my clients is whether it's [00:17:30] day one or day 55 or day 100, instead of thinking about solving your life in one day, take things one day at a time, add on the good things because they pile up and they contribute to a bigger and higher power. So whether it is starting out with, as I said, maybe you're not reading, let's read a book.

Let's, let's, let's do a chapter a day. Take five minutes outta your day. Do something like that with regard to all in. Go for a walk. [00:18:00] Can't do 45 minutes. Let's do 20 minutes. Can't do it at night. Let's do it in the morning. Let's readjust your schedule to make things work for you. So when you take the small steps forward and you build up that confidence, I.

Even if it comes to food choices, you're going out to dinner. I'm here to help with the menu. You want to try new foods? You don't do vegetables. Let's start including some new ones. The baby steps forward that you are taking should count as the biggest wins in your day. They [00:18:30] don't have to be massive.

Maybe it's changing and getting more water in throughout the day. Maybe it's. Less caffeine. Whatever works for you and the steps that you can take forward that are going to be advantageous to your journey and your health and your fitness. Inside and out. Mindset and body is what I want clients to do. So it's the smallest of steps, but sometimes those are the most impactful and that's what many of us don't even realize.

I know I personally didn't. Little [00:19:00] changes that you tweak helped to build up that self-trust. Like when I first started I had, I wasn't moving at all. I was basically sedentary, so I was going out to walk and. Started on a treadmill, then my treadmill blew up because lack of use, no pun, I mean, seriously, it really did.

And so then I had to take it to the streets and I was embarrassed to be out in the streets because they're like, oh my God, what am I doing? Just the confidence to say, I'm setting a time of day, I'm going out. I'm going to move my body, and then finishing it up. I [00:19:30] checking that off my list of accountability was huge for me.

Same thing with fueling my body beautifully. Getting the hydration in, changing my mindset to understand that I could do anything that I really, really wanted to do. I think it is flipping that switch from one of negativity to positivity and understanding that wherever you may be in the world, wherever you can do, you can still take care of yourself and you can still build that self-trust with those baby steps forward.

Chandler Stroud: I think that's really important, [00:20:00] and I just wanna emphasize that for listeners, because you might hear Bonnie say things like, you just have to change your mindset. But I think what you're saying, Bonnie, is how you take those steps to change your mindset. It doesn't have to be these ginormous, unattainable, ambitious, or aggressive goals.

They can be baby steps that you cultivate over time, and if that's reading a chapter of a book or going for a five minute walk. It. What matters isn't the [00:20:30] activity, it's that you're showing up for yourself consistently, and this is where accountability can be such a powerful resource because I will tell you, yes, I climbed a mountain in South Africa and that was an incredibly aggressive goal for me.

But I am much prouder of showing up for myself for whether it's 20 minutes or 45 minutes every day since joining All In to move my body. Like I think back and it was those small goals when you look at them cumulatively [00:21:00] over time, that really had the biggest impact because I would not have summited that mountain if I hadn't been showing up for myself.

Right. All these months previously. Right, right. So I think it's a really important point you're making that I just want everyone to hear loud and clear that the first step does not have to be a big one. It's just finding. Ways that you can consistently show up for yourself every day and start building that muscle so that you can make those bigger, more aggressive goals.

Right, because I agree. I love a good [00:21:30] ambitious goal. Just like you, Bonnie. 

Bonnie Heim: Right, right. The one thing I will say, and, and I have discovered, I don't know whether it's the time of year, but I have a great many clients that in terms of self-trust. I don't have time for this. I can't do this. 

Chandler Stroud: Mm. 

Bonnie Heim: And the interesting thing for me is that what I will say to them is, again, baby steps.

What can you give me today? What can we do today? Let's, let's eliminate the pictures of food choices. Let's look at, can you, can you [00:22:00] get out there and work out for 20 minutes? Can you take a walk? Can you stop and do some slow breathing? Can you carve out some time for yourself? Each day or today, and it's so funny, everyone thinks they are so busy, but when you break it down and you offer that flexibility and you talk about.

Going back to, as I said, what's a non-negotiable, like what can you do for yourself today? One thing, that's all I'm asking. It doesn't need to be the full day of accountability. Sometimes we need to take that step back. Sometimes [00:22:30] we all need to catch our breath, be cut a little bit of slack, and then we can continue to move forward.

I think that's the beauty of accountability coaching. I think even with my own personal coach, with all in, I can say. I'm having a real tough day. This is what I can give you today, and it's accepted. So it's never such a grand huge, you know, effort that we need each day. Give us what you can and we will meet you where you are.

And that's what I love about all in. 

Chandler Stroud: Yeah. No, I, I do [00:23:00] agree. I think all in especially has evolved into a very flexible program that is meeting people where they are, and it's really an amazing, amazing support system. I can't say enough good things about it. I'm curious, given your last answer, why is following through on commitment so vital to self-trust and how do you help clients develop the discipline to stick to their goals?

I'm 

Bonnie Heim: gonna give you a little analogy where it was one of my morning messages that I wrote a while ago, [00:23:30] and it comes from, my sons all played football, lacrosse, and hockey, and they had this outstanding football coach. And on there they had t-shirts made each year, and it said, Ello 48. And I was like, oh, that's cute.

You know, I really had no idea what the 48 meant. You know, you have 48 minutes in the game. And so my morning message. A while ago was what, if you think about dividing your day into quarters, or in that [00:24:00] case 48 minutes for the team. You might not do really well in the first quarter of your day or the first five minutes of the game, but you've got 43 minutes left in that game.

You have another quarter. So let's say our morning isn't terrific. We wake up, we don't have a good breakfast. You can flip that switch, you can turn it around, and you can build that trust within yourself by doing well in the second quarter. So when we take small bites out of a day, or your goals, or what you have set up for yourself to do each day, [00:24:30] I think it's a really, really cool philosophy.

I love that quarter outlook. I like thinking, I went out to dinner last night. My, my fourth quarter was not terrific. But I have another day tomorrow and I'm gonna hit that first quarter of my day really, really hard and do well. We can always pick things back up. You can always flip that mindset, get back on track, jump all in.

And to this day, my boys carry that L lo 48 philosophy with them [00:25:00] because you can always, however many minutes you have in the day, you can always do something that is so positive for yourself. In whatever way matters most to you. And I, I just love that philosophy. 

Chandler Stroud: I think that's a great philosophy and one that is probably gonna resonate with a lot of listeners.

'cause how often do we wake up and do something we immediately regret and think well. Day's gone. Might as well just keep eating like this the rest of the day. Or I missed my [00:25:30] workout. I guess I should, you know, go get a giant something in the afternoon, sugar rush. It's really cool to say, Hey, we can turn this around.

I love thinking about that game analogy. 

Bonnie Heim: Well, that was me. Like if I did something wrong one day before I went all in, I was like, oh, I'm done blowing it. Might as well blow it even more, right? Yep. And, and I think that's what I want clients to understand is the day's not over. The game's not over. The journey's not over.

We have nothing but time to continue to add up and stack up all those good wins [00:26:00] to contribute to an even bigger and brighter future. So yeah, I think it's, it was kind of cool. Now I understand what that LL 48 means, and I, I love it and I live by it. What's the Lo Lake Oswego? It's the town they were in.

Oh yeah. Yeah. It like dairy and 48. Yeah. 

Chandler Stroud: Okay. I had to ask, I had to ask. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, I'm missing something. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. It was the 48 minutes 

Bonnie Heim: was the 

Chandler Stroud: big key, but yeah, it's Love it. Okay. Thank you for that. Thanks for clarifying. That's very cool. I do think that that's a great framework for people to [00:26:30] apply every day, so thank you.

That's great. Can you share an example of how a client's ability to trust themselves transformed as they began to hold themselves accountable over time? 

Bonnie Heim: Yeah, I, I have one client in particular who came to me kind of broken and zero self-trust, a lot of shame and not really. Having the belief in herself.

She had done a lot of programs, done a lot of [00:27:00] things to lose weight, and the one thing I emphasize with all in. It is. Our philosophy and program is so much more than just losing weight, and I can speak to that personally, but with this client in particular, I said, let's just take baby steps forward.

Don't look at that whole mountain. Don't look at. How high you have to climb or how much you have to lose, or what you need to do to get there. Let's just move forward slowly and steadily. And you know, that's my philosophy. I'm all about the tortoise and the [00:27:30] hare story, like that's my favorite story in the world.

And because the slow and steady process is where it's gonna last. So this client has basically. Turned her life around. She lives it. She travels extensively. She has an incredibly demanding career, quite successful, and she continues to go out on business dinners. She travels over the world. She'll go overseas.

She'll take her scales, she'll take her, you know, she'll do her workouts. She has changed her life by gaining that self-trust, by taking [00:28:00] those small but powerful steps forward and understanding that it. Didn't need to be accomplished in one day. She has been with me probably close to over a year now, and she said to me yesterday, she goes, you are such a blessing in my life.

And, and right back at her I'm like, you have no idea how inspired and what a blessing you are in my life. Because when you see clients gain back their trust in themselves and. Create such an incredibly beautiful lifestyle. It is a very emotional [00:28:30] experience. It is a very, as a coach, as a friend, as someone that you've just seen her every day, hasn't been perfect, but she just stuck with it, and that is so cool to me.

Like, we're not perfect. It's not going to be great. It's that LO 48 that I said to you. She just kept pushing forward. She had her faith. She believed in herself. She has embraced so many aspects of a beautiful lifestyle that again, will work for her every, and that's what I, you know, I always emphasize that Chandler, it's got to work for you.

Like I [00:29:00] can tell you what's worked for me, but you have to create the lifestyle that you will take with you for the rest of your life. And we want it to be flexible. We want you to live life. We want you to enjoy it to the fullest. That's what all in is about, and that's what we're here to help you do.

Chandler Stroud: Beautifully said, Bonnie, thank you for sharing that example. How powerful. And I'm inspired by her as well, so I really appreciate you sharing. 

Bonnie Heim: Yeah. Couldn't be more proud of her. All my clients, truthfully, everyone is doing it in their own way and that's what. I love and, and I've had clients that have been with [00:29:30] me and then they go away and then they come back.

They always come back to Bonnie. Yeah. 

Chandler Stroud: Always. 

Bonnie Heim: But, but they're, but it's, it, every time they come back it's different. And that's what I love is that it's not going to be the same. And that's kind of exciting. And that makes, it adds the spice to life. And that's what we want with clients. We want them to understand that it's always going to be something new.

It's going to be something fresh. And it can always be something like positive and exciting. 

Chandler Stroud: Yes. Yes it can. Thank you, Bonnie. [00:30:00] That was great. What role does self-compassion play in accountability, especially when someone doesn't meet goals, and how can this affect their ability to trust themselves? 

Bonnie Heim: Oh my goodness.

That is you. First of all, you know me well enough. I'm all about the compassion for yourself, and it's something that I never had. I think that. It's not so much about the promise itself. It is rather about the fact that you can fulfill that promise that you've made to [00:30:30] yourself with grace, with kind of slow rolling things, with understanding that change takes time.

Understanding that we are all human, grace, compassion. Empathy that we give so freely to everyone else. It's what I want my clients to give to themselves. And that was very hard for me to do years ago. Something negative would come in my mind and I would just sink. I mean, it would just consume me for the day.

And now I've learned to [00:31:00] flip the switch, and that's what I try to have my clients do. Having the compassion, understanding that what they're doing is really hard. It's not easy. You and I both know this. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes grace, which is my favorite word of all, because we give it so freely, as I've said to everyone else.

Why don't we do that for ourselves? So trusting in themselves, taking it slowly, [00:31:30] making the good decisions, thinking positive thoughts about yourself, doing something that makes you happy, and every step of the way you're creating a lifestyle. That will just continue to grow and impact your life and those around you too, because when you're happy, it filters out to every aspect of your life, the people you love, your friendships, your activities, whether it's personal, professional as well, it's just those fingers that keep reaching out.

Once you [00:32:00] find that you can catch your breath, you can offer yourself the compassion that we all need and. I personally took care of everyone else in my life other than myself. And with clients. That's what I love, taking care of them, and I want them to understand that they need to take care of themselves as well.

And that's what, that's what I really think accountability is all about, is that if you don't believe in yourself and have that self-trust in yourself and you don't offer yourself that grace, I'm gonna be right by your side. Or in your ear or on your shoulder telling you that that's [00:32:30] exactly what we're going to do.

We're gonna take care of you right now. And that's the beauty of the one-on-one relationship with the coaching is that we might not have the strength to do it ourselves, but your coach is gonna be right by your side lifting you up, giving you those hugs. Cheering you on every step of the way so that you can offer yourself that grace.

And I'll check my clients, like, what do you mean? Someone said to me the other day, I only did 15 minutes. I go, there is no, just only about what you just accomplished. You just did two miles. There's [00:33:00] no only about that. So that's where it's like, would they say that to someone else? Oh my gosh, you did. No, but we speak to ourselves differently and we need to flip that switch and turn it around.

And that's my hope with my clients is that I lead with compassion. I want them to lead with compassion for themselves. And grace, I think 

Chandler Stroud: you hit the nail on the head with that one because as we think about offering compassion when you may misstep or don't achieve your goal for the day, I love you and I both work with mindset coach Katie, we, and I love [00:33:30] how she thinks about.

Talking to yourself the way you would someone you love, and I think about that a lot because I think to myself, okay, if my son, let's say, was trying to achieve something and failed. I wouldn't ream him out and say, how could you be so stupid? Why didn't you achieve this? It was so easy, right? Because I know he's never gonna achieve it if you belittle him and you know, talk to him in this condescending [00:34:00] way.

But if you can offer that love and compassion. That's encouragement. They wanna go back and try again, and we're no different. We have to learn to speak to ourselves with more positive balance because if we stay on the track of kind of belittling ourselves, right, that's not gonna produce the results we want, nor is it gonna teach us to trust ourselves to do anything bigger or more exciting.

And speaking of Katie Wee, if anyone wants to take the [00:34:30] first step in truly building their self-trust, I cannot recommend Katie Wee's Happy camp enough. It was such a transformational experience for me, both her Mexico and Sedona retreats this year. Bonnie actually joined me on the retreat in Sedona a couple weeks ago, and it was.

So great to get together with other like-minded women who are excited and motivated to show up for themselves. So if you are interested in joining Katie Wee at her Happy Camp Retreat, you can reference this show for [00:35:00] $300 off by using Code Healing Heroes. That's Code Healing Heroes for $300 off Happy Camp.

And if you wanna learn more, go to healing Heroes podcast.com to join our mailing list where you can see this discount and understand where you can access more information. So can't recommend that highly enough, especially in the context of today's conversation. Happy Camp is one of the best ways I know to be kind to yourself and learn how to show up for yourself again.

So [00:35:30] can't say enough good things about it. 

Bonnie Heim: Working with Katie Wee has just embellished that whole relationship with myself, and I remember she said, and this is a hard one and I don't really do it all the time, but she said, look in the mirror when you get up in the morning and say, you look great.

And you know, I think that's hard for every one of us to do, but the power of believing in yourself and the power of flipping that switch. And I believe in mantras. And so when I'm doing something really tough like that climb of yours in South Africa, or when I have gone on hikes [00:36:00] where I'm looking over the edge or fearing that I'm gonna see a snake or something.

I say the word positive three times and it just gives me strength. And so I think that mindset, yes, it's everything. And when we understand, and I've learned that for myself personally, I will have a thought come into my mind really fast that's negative. And I flip the switch because I'm not, I'm not gonna go there and that's what I'm trying to have my clients.

It's really [00:36:30] hard to gain that self-trust and to have that strength. But when you speak to yourself and, and the thoughts in your mind, you're going to dismiss and, and shed those negative ones as fast as you can. I think it's the best. Gift you can give yourself to understand that we're all going to have those negative thoughts, but it's what we do with them that really matters the most.

And I say get rid of them. Move on and replace it with something positive. 

Chandler Stroud: Yeah, I agree. Also, side note, I love what you said about how [00:37:00] accountability coaches can serve as that external validation and vote of confidence. Yep. And encouragement, right When you might not have. Built up that self trust for yourself yet.

Right? Right. Like they can give it to you in absence of you having it for yourself. And I think that's a really powerful way to think about accountability coaching. 'cause even I hadn't really thought of it like that before. 

Bonnie Heim: I think when, when I first began, and you don't have that, you really don't believe in yourself.

You know, when you [00:37:30] first begin something like this or begin a journey, you're trying something new. There's a lot of fear that's involved. You're scared of what's gonna happen. You're, you're concerned if you fail. 'cause God knows, we all don't wanna fail. But when you have an accountability coach by your side cheering you on, lifting you up, giving you the positive encouragement that you need for myself, that's what honestly was the game changer.

And it, you know, I always like to say accountability was the thing I never knew that I realized in my life or that was missing. And now that I have it in. I always say I'm a [00:38:00] lifer because I do believe in it. I think the power of having a friend or a buddy or a coach by your side really, really is so impactful, and it's exactly what everyone kind of needs.

Someone. If we don't believe in ourselves, we've got someone who does. That's going to keep taking steps forward with you. 

Chandler Stroud: I think that's a really beautiful way of thinking about. Accountability and all in as a support system. So that life is, that 

Bonnie Heim: life is hard, and [00:38:30] building the self-trust in yourself is critical.

And for those of us that might not have believed in ourselves, just kind of leaning into your innate power that I've always said, you know, like in the Wizard of Oz, the power has always been yours. No true statement has been spoken. And that's what I think people need to understand is that the power has always been there.

I mean, it's inside each of us. We just need to tap into it. And sometimes having a buddy by your side or a accountability coach, or a dear friend or a family member, it's exactly what we need to bring that out. 

Chandler Stroud: I [00:39:00] couldn't agree more, and I think that's a really powerful statement for anyone trying to think through how to cultivate more self-trust in their own lives.

Yes. What advice do you have for women who want to rebuild trust in themselves after a period of inconsistency or self-sabotage? 

Bonnie Heim: Well, you're preaching to the choir here because that was me and I had. Self-sabotage myself for years, and I, I, I think you have to reach a point where you're like, I'm done. I need more.

I deserve more, and you're, I'm worth more. [00:39:30] And so for, for women that feel that way, I always say, don't walk, run, like, run straight for what's going to help you get out of the rut or how you're feeling low. What positivity can we add into your life and. With all in it. For myself, it was changing everything about my life from the way I fueled my body to the way I moved my body, which I hadn't been moving to the way, as you and I have discussed our [00:40:00] mindset, and so it's the small steps forward.

As I think we've mentioned, doing something kind for yourself a. Once a day thinking about, you know, as I mentioned with Katie weed, looking in the mirror, thinking something about yourself that's positive. Complimenting yourself, patting yourself on the back. The grace, the compassion that we can offer to ourselves as women is critical.

And I speak from experience and it is an emotional topic for me because for so many years. That wasn't something that I [00:40:30] gave freely in myself, and it was something that I gave to everyone else. So I think as a woman to another woman, please give yourself this gift of time. Take the time to work to improve.

And it doesn't, it's not hard work, it's just kindness. It's step by step. It's following the path that you know you deserve. And. That's what I love about what I do, is that I get to work with so many incredible women and help them remember who they were when [00:41:00] perhaps they'd been lost. 

Chandler Stroud: Thank you for that really honest answer and being so transparent, Bonnie, and I think what you said about not thinking of it as fixing yourself or necessarily improving, but being kind to yourself is such a powerful mindset shift that I hope every.

Women can hear and embrace and really take to heart today because that's exactly what we're saying. 

Bonnie Heim: We always think that we're not doing enough. And yes, [00:41:30] again, I'm speaking for personal experience, but I think of the moms and the professionals and the mothers and the daughters and everyone, and the men that I work with.

You are doing plenty, but what you need to add in there is more compassion for yourself. You're doing everything for everyone out there, and I know I did. But taking some time for yourself so that you feel renewed and refreshed and you get that reset you need so that we can prop you back up and you can continue to move [00:42:00] forward.

That's, that's what it's all about, and that's where accountability is so key. And as I said, it's the, the piece that I didn't realize I was missing from my life. 

Chandler Stroud: Love that, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing. What daily habits or practices can women implement to strengthen their ability to hold themselves accountable and in turn build self-trust?

Bonnie Heim: Well, one habit that I love is taking myself out for a runner walk, and if you haven't been moving, I think that's one of the most powerful things that you can do because moving your [00:42:30] body. Adds so much to your mindset as well. Put on a great podcast. Listen to some music. Just get out there and move, and I don't care about the time limit, I don't care about the distance, but just carve out some time for yourself during the day.

To do that, make that a non-negotiable, like that physical movement is the best gift you can give yourself. And you and I both know that it's, there's nothing like the, whether it's a treadmill, fresh air, [00:43:00] whatever you're doing, hopping on a bike. That movement just is the most uplifting high for me. I feel accomplished, you know?

Chandler Stroud: Yeah. You absolutely feel accomplished. And actually, I'll take it a step further because I was listening to a podcast. The Mel Robbins podcast had guest Dr. Wendy Suzuki on, I think it was about a week or two ago. She is a neuroscientist and was talking about how 10 minutes of walking Yes. In the morning.

Yes. That's all you need. Yes. A 10 minute walk is like giving your brain a bubble [00:43:30] bath. Of all sorts of positive neurochemicals that just completely shift your energy and mood through the rest of the day. So that was a really powerful tip she offered and is scientifically backed. So what you're saying is absolutely landing Bonnie.

I have found that, but 

Bonnie Heim: I think it is a happy moment in your day. I think it is. I call it my me time. I tell my clients, you need to take that time for yourself and. W going back to my client, I'm really busy. I can't do that. Well, number one, you have to [00:44:00] eat during the day, right? And you're moving. So even if a client, I love this one too.

Even if a client can't per se, get a workout in, alright, let's count steps because you know what? Those steps that you're taking add up each day. And sometimes I have clients who have not been moving at all and they are blown away by the number of steps. I'm like, okay, tomorrow let's set a goal. And I have clients that will set.

Daily steps. So it's just the little movement. It's just the, the positive thing that you can do for yourself moving is one, you know, [00:44:30] getting together with a friend. If you haven't, if, if you've been alone and you wanna get together with a friend and make a date, do that for yourself. Whatever makes you happy can get you onto the path of understanding that, taking care of yourself, building that self-trust, following through with things is the key to not only accountability, but.

Again, adding so much more to your life and grabbing back that power. 

Chandler Stroud: I totally agree, and I'll make another plug for 10 minutes of any sort of [00:45:00] movement, but if you can do that outside, it is now very well researched the power of being out in nature and what that does for mindset and health in the long term.

So. Highly recommend moving your body, getting out in nature, seeing a friend to your point or even simpler than that, and you're like, I'm not gonna have time to do that. I assume all of our listeners shower hopefully at some point in the day. One other tip that Dr. Suzuki shared was the power of hot and cold therapy.

So even if you are already [00:45:30] taking a hot shower in the morning. Try turning that dial to cold for the last 15 to 20 seconds. If you can manage it, you'll build your tolerance over time, but that has an immense impact on your ability to focus for hours after that shower. And that is a simple way you can take something you're already doing and just level it up to give yourself a little something extra that's gonna help you feel great throughout your day and help.

You with focusing on the tasks ahead. So I [00:46:00] loved that tip that I heard from her, and I think that in the context of our conversation, Bonnie is so easy because most people are already showering. So there go well, and not 

Bonnie Heim: everyone has a code plunge, but that shower tip is fabulous. I love that. It's kind of like your wake up call in the morning and Totally.

And why not, you know, kind of gets you going. 

Chandler Stroud: Why not? And I do love a cold plunge, but like sometimes it's a lot to like fill a bathtub or a big tub with ice and you know, it's a whole thing, right? So just like turning the shower cold is a really great trick. Before we come to an end, [00:46:30] I wanna ask one last question, which is, how do you believe accountability and self-trust work together in the long term to create more fulfillment and confidence in women's lives?

Bonnie Heim: I think accountability and self-trust go hand in hand. I think you can't have one without the other because self-trust is holding yourself accountable and it is setting the goals for yourself or. [00:47:00] Things that you want to reach for, and then building that self-trust by following through. I think the follow through is key.

And it doesn't have to be huge. It can be something small. It can be for, you know, whatever works for each individual. But it is something that I never realized as I've said that I needed. But now I'm all about accountability, like I live. Breathe and love the lifestyle because I like being held accountable.

I like setting goals. I think more [00:47:30] people, once they get involved with accountability will understand that it's kind of that piece that's been missing. And it is truthfully one of the most empowering things that you can do for yourself by following through. On, as we've said, the goals that you've set for yourself.

Again, they don't have to be huge. They don't have to be massive. They can be those baby steps forward. You can build upon the foundation that you begin with, where, whether it's the walk, whether it's food choices, whether it is reading [00:48:00] a book, whether it's meditation, whether you are leaning into your faith, whatever you are doing for yourself.

That's where I think the accountability, it could be something as simple as, like you said, you went to church today. That's something positive for yourself that was re renewing the self-trust that you have that you knew that you needed that today. And you're leaning into what your emotions and what your body let you know that you needed, and I love that.

Chandler Stroud: Thanks for that, Bonnie. I hope our listeners hear that loud and clear that it starts small, but the follow through is. Very, very important and [00:48:30] I'm so grateful to you and all in for helping me with that follow through over the course of the last several years, so thank you. 

Bonnie Heim: Can I also add one more thing with regard to the follow through because I think this is really key.

Chandler Stroud: Absolutely. 

Bonnie Heim: Because when we have clients that perhaps might not follow through, or we ourselves might not follow through, there is no shame in our game, and that's what I like to emphasize to everyone. Going back to those 48 minutes, going back to the quarters in the day, we might not follow [00:49:00] through in one day or on one specific item that we said we were going to do.

It doesn't mean we can't do it later in the day or tomorrow. It. There is always an option, an opportunity to improve and to follow through. So I don't want anyone beating themselves up or feeling ashamed that they didn't get something done or, oh, throw in the towel. Now. That's not how accountability works.

We can always catch up. We can always turn things around, and you can always continue to move forward. [00:49:30] 

Chandler Stroud: Very inspirational and super motivational. Thank you Bonnie for that. I'm curious for all of those women out there who are setting their New Year's resolutions right now and knowing self-trust is a really important component of showing up to achieve what might be some really ambitious objectives that they're setting for themselves in 2025.

What is one piece of advice you would give everybody out there who [00:50:00] is working toward achieving a New Year's resolution? 

Bonnie Heim: Well, being the Queen of New Year's resolutions for so many years, and they lasted maybe a month and the gym was like, oh, so nice to see you, Bonnie. Welcome back. What I will say is I want clients and anyone out there who's listening to this to understand.

Slow and steady. Take a bite out of something that you want to accomplish. What is that for you? Do you want to lose some weight? Do you [00:50:30] want to move your body? Do you want to read more books? Slow and steady. The tortoise in the hare is the way you need to go. Don't look beyond. Don't look too far ahead.

Stay the course one day at a time. Sometimes it's one hour at a time. Sometimes it's a couple of minutes at a time, but just don't get too far ahead of yourself. Take it with patience. Offer yourself that grace and understand that if perhaps you didn't do well with your New Year's resolution on one day, it [00:51:00] does not mean we throw the towel in.

It does not mean we quit. It will give up. We just find a different way to pivot, readjust, and then we move forward. I think 

Chandler Stroud: that's great advice, and I think to your point, the framework of four quarters comes into play in a very big way as we think about resolutions. But I also think what you said about mindset shift and coming at it from a different vantage point.

If you're finding you're falling short of your, I didn't make it to the gym today, and then it's day two and you still didn't make it to the gym, take a look at the goal. It might be too big. [00:51:30] Maybe there's something else within that that needs to be broken down into components so that it's a little bit more accessible and achievable for you in that moment.

Bonnie Heim: I just think we need to keep things fresh. And there was a phrase that I heard years ago that if you're bored, you must be boring. So when my kids were young and they would say, I'm bored, I might, I'm bored. We'll find something new, find something interesting, go out and do something different. And I think that holds true for the New Year's resolutions.

Don't, don't become stagnant. Don't, you're not stuck [00:52:00] or committed to do something that you said you're gonna do that day. If perhaps you were gonna hop on your Peloton and you don't feel like getting on the bike, go outside for a walk, you can always switch things up. You can always change things up. And for myself personally, I love getting out in the fresh air.

So you will see me out there in the Portland rain, sometimes in the snow and in the summer heat. But that fresh air and outside workout for me is what? Makes me feel alive and I find that I'm never bored. And I think that's one of the things with New Year's [00:52:30] resolutions, you are not stuck in what you committed to do.

You are. You can accomplish it by tackling it in a variety of paths and approaches. And so mix things up. Offer yourself that grace. Maybe do yoga instead of a run one day, hop on a bike instead of going for a walk. Go for a swim in a pool. Walk on the beach. Make it fun. But continue to move forward and enjoy yourself because that's what a lifestyle is all about, and that's what our hope is for all of the clients.

Chandler Stroud: That's great advice, Bonnie. [00:53:00] Thank you for sharing that with our listeners today, and thank you for being here to have this incredibly fun and important conversation. I always enjoy our time together and I'm just so grateful for you. Thank you. I'm grateful 

Bonnie Heim: for you as well, and I always love any time that I get to spend with you 

Chandler Stroud: and to those tuning in.

If you enjoyed today's conversation, please share it with friends and don't forget to follow the show. You can also visit healing heroes podcast.com to get resources, meet the heroes, and share your [00:53:30] ideas for future episodes. Thanks for listening, everyone, and until next time. Remember. Be curious, be courageous, and be kind to yourself.

You've got this.